Depression and Grieff

Depression and Grief

After a loss, a person may experience waves of depression. Such disturbing feelings are normal, yet saying so does not minimize their importance. We may experience sadness, apathy, loss of interest in work, hobbies, family or friends, a sense of hopelessness, feelings of meaninglessness, lack of concentration and a host of other related symptoms. 

We may feel we are in a downward spiral. We feel depressed because well-intentioned people give the impression that we're not doing too well, exhorting us to "be strong", "snap out of it", or "to pull yourself together."

We can't give all the answers to depression, which is a complicated topic. You probable will feel depressed after your loss because your emotional energy is being diverted to the grieving process. For a time, that energy is focused on helping you find the resources to accept the loss and move on to a new life. 

In moments of depression you may feel that your life is over.

You may wonder if you have the strength or the resolve to carry on without the person you have lost. Some may even entertain thoughts of ending it all, either to be reunited with their loved one in death, or because they feel they simply cannot endure the pain of loss.

Such thoughts need careful attention. People who think about ending it all do not really want to die - they just aren't sure they want to live now that their life has changed. Change is never easy.

Part of the grieving process is deciding how we can find the resources for that necessary transition. Sometimes we need help to get us through this period of depression. And seeking the support of a qualified professional counsellor is not a sign of weakness or failure, but an indication of your determination to work through the feelings of grief. Such help will enable you to concentrate your energy on the tasks of mourning. 

Grief attacks: After a little while, we may think we are coping very well with our loss and have the situation well under control. Suddenly , almost out of nowhere, comes an overwhelming sense of grief. Such "grief attacks" can be triggered by almost anything.

Perhaps you hear a favourite song on the radio that reminds you of the person. Maybe, while rummaging through a drawer or a closet, you find an old better or a special photograph. Unexpectedly, you are overcome by a sense of missing the person and the reality of their absence.

Do not be alarmed or regard such moments as setbacks. This is the way grief works itself out. Grief does not act like a sore throat: at first painful, then less painful, and finally no more pain. Grief comes and goes.

We go through a little grief and then it eases off. When we are ready, we deal with a little more. People will often experience more grief attacks than long, uninterrupted periods of grief or depression.

While grief is a universal experience, it is at the same time unique and personal.

Reality hitting home a little more, often in the form of a grief attack, is not a sign of weakness, but signifies increasing strength.

We can cope with a little more of the pain and cut one more strand of the cord.

 Your bad day is a good sign,, because it indicates you are dealing with reality.

How you experience grief will be different from anyone else.