Poignant Reminders

Poignant Reminders

Many moments have meanings related to your togetherness: one weekend at the cottage, the family reunion... anytime when activities were shared can be poignant reminder of happy days gone by. All are special reminders of the absence of someone in your life.

(All the pictures were taken by Elena).

Often the grief attack may not come on the actual anniversary. Perhaps we anticipate the difficult day and our defenses are up. Yet our unconscious does not want to miss the opportunity to deal with the grief, so we feel the pain a week or a few days earlier.

Sometimes we have a bad day and do not even remember the specific occasion. We may discover that our unconscious has set off an alarm around an event we thought was forgotten.

When you're having a bad day or a grief attack, try to pause and think for a moment. Could you be having a response to an significant happening you have forgotten? Plan to do something meaningful on that special day - something that you want to do that will provide you with the support you need.

When you're having a bad day or a grief attack, try to pause and think for a moment. Could you be having a response to an significant happening you have forgotten?

Plan to do something meaningful on that special day - something that you want to do that will provide you with the support you need.

The road to recovery leads toward the pain. We must experience the pain of loss - we can't avoid it, go around it, over nit, or under it. Tranquilizers or alcohol don't end the pain; they merely mask it or provide a temporary escape. Anything that encourages us to avoid or suppress the pain merely delays coming to terms with our loss.

After a time, the intensity of the pain will not be as severe. Grief has a way of simply easing off. But just when you think you have finally recovered, you may have a sudden grief attack.

No matter what has shattered our dreams, our expectations, our hopes or even our lives, we are not beyond repair. Pain is a gift. It is one you wish you could exchange for something else, but it warns your body, mind and spirit of danger. Because pain is our teacher, we must never ignore or suppress it.

This hurt needs to be tended, this wound needs to be bound. Your pain is telling you that you cared about someone. It shows you that you need to attend to the healing of your broken heart.

The best pain is shared pain. Share it with someone who simply accepts you as you are. You don't have to do it alone.

Hold on to hope. Hope brings us comfort. While we must not minimize the pain and difficulty of grief, we need to trust that someday this pain will subside and life will have meaning again. There is a purpose, even though we may not see it right now.

As you are given the grace and the strength to carry on, the feelings of grief will become less painful and occur less often. You will begin to pick up the threads of your life. You will look toward the future with hope.

When our pain seems so great, we may question whether others know how we feel. To see the possibility of recovery will provide that first glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.

Sometimes, hope is not so much for getting through the entire process as for getting through one more day. Can I get through one day or overcome one more challenge.

Remember, even the smallest victory can be a major triumph.