Amorality Tale

Amorality Tale

By Ben Bova

Only the fact that the Piece Movement spread with the speed of light through Europe, Asia, and Africa has saved our beloved Unted States from total annihilation at the hands of the Godless Communists. Western Europe fell into a frenzy of lust, especially Italy, where the leaning Tower of Pisa finally toppled, but no one noticed or cared. The Pope ordered the Vatican sealed off from all outside contact. No one has heard a word from the Vatican for four months now, although there are rumors that certain of the younger Cardinals have been seen along the Via Venetto, dressed in mufti.

The Warsaw Pact nationa quickly fell to the Piece Movement, Poland being the first to succumb. Accordig to some journalists, the Movement averted an immenent Russian invastion and thus saved the Poles from further repression. Martial law collased overnight (literally) in Poland, and the Russian troops assigned to crush Polish resistance were soon grappling with other matters. Tanks became bordellos, heavy artillery pieces became symbols of the new Movement, and were soon decorated wit flowers by smiling Polish women and laughing Russian soldiers.

Despite every precaution, Russia itself fell to the onslaught. Reliable intelligence reports confirm that the sudden deaths of eight Politburo members (average age, seventy-three) can be attributed to the Movement. The USSR is in chaos, but the Russians do not seem to care.

Amorality Tale. Photo: Elena 

Even China, long a model of organized patience, has gone wild. Someone in Beijing found a maxim of Cunfucius, which, roughly translated, means, « If you can’t beat them, join them. » Seismographs as far away as San Francisco ahve borne vivid testimony to the vigor with which a billion Chinese are copulating.

Australia was the lone holdout, and I must confess that for several weeks I was tempted to emigrate Down Under. Separated from the rest of the world by the purifying ocean, this huge island continent remained steadfasty immune to the Piece Movement, mainly (I am told) because the average Australian male is inordinately shy of women and prefers to drink beer in the company of his fellow men, talkig about sports rather than sex.

Unfortunately, a female American tourist – no doubt an agent provocateur – found the chink in the Aussie armor. She put the proposition in sporting terms. She bet the captain of the Australian Americas Cup yacht crew that his team could not equal the endurance record set recently by the crew of the American yacht, Pulsar. The Aussies accepted her challenge, athough no one seems to know if they won the bet or not. No one has seen any of them since that fateful day.

However, once the average Australian male understood that the national honor was at stake, they leaped into the action with typical Australian enthusiasm. Sales of Foster’s Lager have fallen nearly to zero, and Australian women are raising funds to erect a monument to the Unknown American Tourist