Friendship and Social Psychology

Friendship & Social Psychology

The purpose of this essay is to briefly outline friendships and social interaction from a psychological perspective. Clearly, interacting with others, as well as forming social ties, is important and enjoyable for most people. Indeed, from an evolutionary psychology point of view, it may even have been critical for survival.

Humans are social animals – one often hears this phrase. However, the statement may be debated. For example, many other mammals, fish and especially insects live in large groups, thus, humans are far from being exclusive in this propensity. Conversely, many persons are also characterized as ‘loners’ or introverts. To quote a political theorist and philosopher, Hobbes, “life of man is solitary”. Still, across the world, most human beings live in society, making them social beings in many ways, even if tremendous differences exist in personality traits (introversion vs. extroversion) and likelihood to socialize.

Clearly, popularity is a social construct. As a general rule, being popular seems most important when one’s identity is being shaped, or during the formative years (16-24). Indeed, most teenagers seem more preoccupied than adults by being popular and well-liked by peers. Nonetheless, being sociable has its advantages at any age. For instance, organizational socialization, such as learning the tricks of the trade at a the automobile factory one has recently joined, may be rendered easier by making friends. Further, knowledge is often passed on from one person to another, especially information that travels through the grapevine (informal communication in an organizational setting), such as gossip.

Friendship. Illustration by Elena

However, as some organizational behaviour professionals point out, being too sociable likewise has its pitfalls. For instance, I remember a workplace anecdote about two young women, one extremely popular and sociable, and the other introverted and somewhat of an outcast, yet serious, responsible and hardworking. Interestingly enough, the social butterfly was better known across the organization, and perhaps even liked more, but the quality of the work of the young lady who kept to herself was outstanding and she respected all her deadlines, which could not be said about the easily distracted “life of the party” employee. Therefore, it seems that a balance, as often is the case in life, is the best alternative.

But what do social psychologists say about friendships and relationships? Such broad questions would be too difficult to answer in such a short draft, and lie beyond the scope of the present article. Still, one may argue that the social world is composed of circles and layers. To illustrate, in decreasing order of closeness, one has family, best friends, close friends, friends, good acquaintances and fair-weather acquaintances; also, coworkers an colleagues, and additionally people one can trust, open up to, and rely on, despite not necessarily sharing the same interests, such as doctors and/or professionals who one may disclose information one only shares with very close people despite omitting the hanging out at the bar part, such as physicians and licensed, qualified therapists. As an illustration, most mental health professionals are taught to establish rapport, a sort of connection necessary for therapy to be effective.

Alternatively, people will open up to others only when they feel emotionally and psychologically safe, and anything else would be unwise from a preservation and well-being perspective. Similarly, social psychologists mention that disclosure in human interaction and communication follows a rhythmic pattern. In other words, when two people get to know each other, there is a sort of dance: “You disclose a little – I disclose a little”. Indeed, psychological studies have found that disclosing too much or too early makes others uncomfortable, not to mention that it could be dangerous to the discloser if the other person has bad intentions and uses the information against the discloser. Deep conversations are unlikely in most social interactions, which is why people make small talk and discuss superficial matters. Thus, hopefully the present paper has fulfilled its purpose of briefly mentioning friendship building, and other social psychology matters, as they relate to interpersonal relations.

Friendship and communication. Illustration by Elena.