Dating Sites and Facebook

Dating Sites and Facebook

After reading several reviews about dating sites I decided to give it a try. First of all, there are a lot of users on those sites. I have used Plenty of Fish or PoF as I’ve read reviews about the many messages one instantly gets when one signs up. For the most part, it is true. If you put a decent profile with a few flattering pictures, many people will message you right away. Sometimes, even more people than you can handle and definitely a lot more people than you need to score a date. What is more important, however, is the quality versus quantity dilemma.

From personal experience, I noticed that most people just want to chat, email and exchange pictures. Many users see dating sites as an alternative to Facebook. Such users change profile pictures often, do not really care much for interaction and generally try to meet people online with the sole intention of leading them from one social networking platform to another. Indeed, for many users, one of the first questions that comes to their mind after a brief exchange on a dating site is “Do you have Facebook?”

Sure, one may say that trying to find out whether you have a Facebook account and who you are on Facebook is a strategy for many to figure you out, to find out if you have what they are looking for in a potential partner. But so many social norms have to be broken! Ideally, people only become Facebook friends with those they already know in real life. We all know this is not always the case, especially for those who have thousands of friends on their timelines, but Facebook even has a policy against letting you become friends with people you do not really know, or at least failed to meet in person. But I digress…

Meeting someone is hard, especially if you are looking for a meaningful, long-term connection with a like-minded other. After all, throughout your lifetime you will meet only certain people who share both your values and your interests. The same goes for dating sites. An additional problem with such networking platforms is that many consider that users of such resources are somehow desperate; that it is only despair and desperation which pushes users to sincerely look for a connection on a dating Website. Perhaps the same can be said about matchmaking services. Clearly, whether it is possible to find true love through a matchmaking service or on an online dating platform, one must remain cautious, as caution is always important when interacting with strangers, regardless of the medium chosen.

Self-confidence matters in many undertakings, be it standing on the CN Tower’s Glass Floor, to the dating game. Image: Megan Jorgensen (Elena)

Finding a Partner on a Dating Site

Most people in the world want to be loved, and for many this means being romantically involved with another person. Today, in addition to the traditional ways of finding suitable mates, such as through friends or at social gatherings, the Internet provides a new venue. Thus, social networking Websites such as MySpace, Facebook or Twitter have led people to find and meet that treasured, elusive significant other most songs centre on. Indeed, the very idea of romantic love is omnipresent in our culture, be it through the media, the music and movie industries or greetings cards on Valentine’s day – the day of celebration of love. But before jumping to conclusions about dating sites and social platforms, it may be interesting to review them.

One of the biggest dating sites out there is Plenty of Fish, whose current name has been shortened to PoF. The Website indeed offers a lot in terms of users who are on it. There are several features, you can describe yourself at length and post pictures, you can and message other users, and you can even view who’s currently online and who has viewed your profile, unless they disabled that option. However, the situation does not mean you’ll get anywhere. Interestingly enough, with some good, inviting pictures and a friendly, self-respecting but open-minded profile description one can usually get a ton of messages. And that really, almost literally means a lot of messages. An overwhelming quantity of messages, which will be hard to sort though once you actually start replying to them in the hopes to finding the perfect person for you.

A positive attitude is essential in most undertaking, including finding someone. Image: Megan Jorgensen (Elena)

Many messages may sound like a good thing, but the problem with these Websites is the actual intentions of the users. Many, if not most, users want to chat and exchange pictures online and little more, without ever meeting in person and obviously not seeking a relationship even if their profile status indicates they do. Thus, caution is in order. As they say, you never know and you might have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince or princess, but if you’re willing to give it a chance, make sure you keep your wits about you.