Weddings

Weddings

Second weddings: When both the bride and groom have been married before, they usually pay for most of a simple wedding celebration themselves (it’s a wonder how appealing simplicity looks from that perspective). If only the groom has been previously married, than the bride’s family usually hosts a celebration akin to that of a first wedding. If only the bride has been married before, then the couple may decide to throw a larger-than-usual second wedding celebration for the benefit of the groom’s family, but the bride’s parents have no obligation to pay for it.

Second weddings usually are less formal than the first ones. Brides wear a suit or dress of any color, and no veil. Grooms usually wear a suit and tie. The bride’s father does not give her away, as that is a tradition reserved for first weddings. Attendants or witnesses might include children from a previous marriage, or close friends.

Pregnant brides: Depending on how comfortable she is with her condition, a pregnant bride can choose a long wedding gown or a maternity dress in white or another light color. Traditionally, a bridal veil is a symbol of virginity, so she should opt against it. Elisabeth Post suggests that these weddings be simple, so that the coupe does not appear to flaunt their situation in society’s face. Announcements sent by the bride’s parents suggest that they support the couple in their decision.

Waiting for a bride to come. Photo by Elena

Relationships

Divorce: A divorced woman does not wear her engagement ring on the fourth finger of her left hand. She may have the stone reset into a bracelet or necklace or keep it for her children’s use later. A divorced couple does not return wedding gifts. A recently divorced person’s friends should be supportive and sympathetic without prying for details. “If you love both people, don’t take sides”, suggests Baldrige. “Your job, as a friend, is to try to get each member of the couple into an affirmative, cheerful mood once again.”

If children are involved, both sides of the family should be respectful of the other side’s efforts to spend time with the children. Also important: one parent should not criticize the other in front of their children, even if the impulse is nearly irresistible.

Living together: When addressing mail to an unmarried couple that lives together, each name should be on a separate line, and their names should not be joined by the word “and”.

When introducing couples who live together, most labels sound awkward (boyfriend, significant other, date), so it is best to forgo the explanation and simply introduce each person by name.

After the First Diamond

Wedding anniversaries and suggested gifts (traditional gifts and modern gifts):

First year     Paper                               Clock

2nd year      Cotton                              China

3rd year       Leather                             Crystal or glass

4th year       Fruit of flowers               Appliances

5th year       Wood                                 Silverware

6th year       Candy or ironware          Wood

7th year       Copper or wool                Pens, pencils, desk sets

8th year      Pottery or bronze             Linens or laces

9th year      Potter or willow                Leather

10th year    Aluminium or tine           Diamond jewelry

11th year    Steel                                    Fashion jewelry and accessories

12th year   Silk or Linen                      Pearls or gems

13th year   Lace                                     Textiles or furs

14th year   Ivory                                    Gold jewelry

15th year   Crystal                                 Watches

16th year        –                                       Silver hollowware

17th year        –                                       Furniture

18th year        –                                      Porcelane

19th year       –                                      Bronze

20th year  China                                  Platimune

25th year   Silver                                  Silver

30th year   Pearl                                   Diamond

35th year   Coral                                   Jade

40th year   Ruby                                   Ruby

45th year   Sapphire                            Sapphire

50th year   Gold                                    Gold

55th year   Emerald                            Emerald

60th year   Diamond                          Diamond

75th year    Diamond                         Diamond

25th, 50th, 60th, 75th – jubilee.

An ice watch, Symbol of our life. Photo by Elena