Love and Romance

Love and Romance

Throughout history, most songs composed, most books written, most tales told and definitely most TV shows and movies made, involved a love story. From Ancient Greco-Roman myths, where Zeus (Jupiter) cheated on his wife Hera (Juno) in his never-ending pursuit of beautiful women to Aphrodite’s (Venus) – the embodiment of the sentiment, the goddess of love. From Romeo and Juliet the classic tragedy by William Shakespeare 1600s hundreds medieval England to the 1998 remake with the soundtrack contributions by rock formation Garbage. More or less any plot line involves some flame, fling or unrequited overtures at some point.

In 2011, the buzz on love story is Bella Swan and Edward Cullen (Twilight, Eclipse, New Moon, Breaking Dawn). Green-eyed Kirsten Stewart and Robert Pattison portray the couple. Vampires suddenly flew back into fashion, not that they ever went out to judge by the amount of fiction written and motion pictures produced. In the late 1990s, there was a show about an underground vampire club in Montreal, whose members would pretend to drink blood and participate in rituals together.

The concept of romantic love dates back to medieval times. At that time, marriage was seen as an arrangement beneficial to both families or clans, with little bearing on emotional attachment. In some cultures, even today, the parents decide marriages, sometimes at the instant of the child’s birth.

Some believe that the idea of love was played up by Disney and Hollywood to accelerate diamond commerce. The diamond industry is huge. The largest world suppliers of the rock are Russia and South Africa. Diamond trade in African countries has been associated with unspeakable atrocities. The movie Blood Diamonds, and the involvement of supermodel Naomi Campbell in a series of trials, is rooted in the trade. Marilyn Monroe sang that ‘… diamonds are a girl’s best friends…’ Madonna’s lyrics proudly confirmed that she was ‘… a material girl in a material world…’ the Pussycat Dolls’ musical band’s with lead singer, Nicole Scherzinger, proclaimed ‘… if you like it, the you gotta put a ring on it…’ Along the same lines, parodies on De Beers’s advertisements similarly reaffirm the association between a diamond (ring) and long-lasting companionship.

A more traditional approach is that diamonds are indeed forever. Therefore, they symbolise the durability and meaning of the commitment between two enamoured people.

Being the hardest element is why some industrial saws are made with low-grade diamonds. Diamonds are measured in carats, the more carats – the bigger and more expensive the stone. Clarity, colour and intactness are also important factors in precious (diamond, ruby, sapphire, emerald) and semi-precious (amethyst, aquamarine, garnet, quartz) gemstones appraisal.

Everybody needs love. Then, why are so many people unhappily single and lonely? The answer to the question lays in the paradoxical nature of the human psyche. Many seek guidance and read tons of self-help books on dating and relationships. Then, they receive (sometimes bad) advice on how to manage their personal lives. Perchance loneliness is just a natural and integral part of the human condition or possibly that is quite inaccurate and ‘…quoi que tu fasses l’amour est partout ou tu regardes…’ as French singer Francis Cabrel… eloquently put it.

Concept of romantic love, does it exist at all? Photo : Megan Jorgensen.

Neuroscience and Psychology of Fear

The Neuroscience and Psychology of Fear

Fear, as a phenomenon, is omnipresent. The statement could be easily verified by how common doomsday predictions, fear mongering, and conspiracy theories are. Social events such as Steven Colbert's Rally to Keep Fear Alive are only some of the evidence. Further, many believe that subliminal messages embedded in media somehow influence the human mind. While that seems exaggerated, it is scientifically plausible to show something for such a short time that the brain registers it, but without any conscious awareness of what has been seen. Regardless, such far fetched suggestions are far beyond the topic of the present short essay, the purpose of which is to outline fear conditioning and extinction as documented in the academic literature.

Japan is renown, aside from electronics, anime and other elements, for its shockingly scary movies, a premiere of one of them allegedly being so scary that it had to be banned from show, due to heart attacks at the premiere. Film festivals such as Fantasia center on such thematic motion pictures. Moreover, fear is a strong motivator, and to judge by the horror movie genre and amusement parks popularity, actually a feeling many seek out.

Neuroscientifically, the brain structure mostly associated with the emotion is the amygdala (Wilensky et al., 2006; Pare et al., 2004). Interestingly, anxiety differs from fear in that anxiety is fright of something unconfirmed, whereas fear relates to something certain (i.e. if there is a lion in one's room and one is afraid, then that constitutes fear, but if one thinks there might be a monster under one's bed, then that represents anxiety).

A fearful reaction. CGI (Computer Generated Imagery). Image: Copyright © Megan Jorgensen.

Naturally, fear and anxiety are very important for anxiety disorders and other troubles related to abnormal psychology. Perhaps, the most obvious example of such ailments is GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder, characterized by chronic and excessive worry about almost everything).

Further, classical conditioning refers to the technique pioneered by Ivan Pavlov at the beginning of the 20th century. Fear conditioning works in a similar way. A famous story is that of little Albert, who was thus conditioned to fear white fluffy animals. So, fear conditioning works in the same way as classical conditioning. An initially neutral stimulus is repeatedly paired with one that elicits fear, and eventually, the neutral stimulus comes to be experienced as frightening.

Classical conditioning - famous Pavlov's dogs experiment explained graphically. CGI (Computer Generated Imagery). US - Unconditioned or Unconditional Stimulus (terms used interchangeably, salivation to food); CS - Conditioned or Conditional Stimulus (sound of a bell, paired repeatedly with food); UR - Unconditioned or Unconditional Response (salivation to food); CR - Conditioned or Conditional Response (salivation to bell sound). Image: Copyright © Megan Jorgensen.

Widely used in the treatment of phobias (irrational fears, such as acrophobia: fear of heights, arachnophobia: fear of spiders, agoraphobia with or without panic attack: fear of crowded places, claustrophobia: fear of enclosed spaces, and so on). Individuals suffering from these afflictions, often realize that their worries are unsubstantiated, but simply cannot do much about them. Fear extinction takes advantage of the reverse mechanism to treat phobias. For example, in desensitization, a scary stimulus is presented gradually in a safe environment (i.e. supervised by a mental health professional), and in time, the person gets more and more confortable and can potentially get rid of the fear all together.

The lion (pantera leo, feline) has long been considered as symbolizing courage and valor, as evidenced, among other things, by such titles as Richard the Lion Heart. CGI (Computer Generated Imagery). Image: Copyright © Megan Jorgensen.

Finally, Silverstein et al. (2011) explain that fear is processed at different levels in the brain. Thus, there appear to be cortical and subcortical pathways in the brain’s interpretation of aversive stimuli. Using neuroimaging techniques, the authors confirmed the involvement of the amygdala, but also of the thalamus, visual cortex, orbitofrontal cortex (OFC) and prefrontal cortex (PFC).

References:

• Pare, D., Quirk, G. L. & LeDoux, J. E. (2004). New vistas on amygdala networks in conditioned fear. Journal of Neurophysiology, 92: 117-33.
• Silverstein, D., Lansner, A., Ingvar, M. & Ohman, A. (2011). A neural model of human fear pathways based on anatomical and neuroimaging data. BMC Neuroscience, 12, P241-2.  From the Twentieth Annual Computational Neuroscience Meeting: Stockholm, Sweden.
• Wilensky, A. E., Schafe, G. E., Kristensen, M. P. & LeDoux, J. E. (2006). Rethinking the fear circuit: The central nucleus of the amygdala is required for the acquisition, consolidation, and expression of Pavlovian fear conditioning. Journal of Neuroscience, 26: 12387-96.

The Cruel Sky

The Cruel Sky

By Arthur C. Clarke

No man in all history had ever greeted a stranger dawn. Though they were tired and stiff and cold, and the dryness of the thin air made every breath rasp in their throats, they forgot all these discomforts as the first dim glow spread along the jagged eastern horizon. The stars fades one by one; last to go, only minutes before the moment of daybreak, was the most brilliant of all the space stations – Pacific Number Three, hovering twenty-two thousand miles above Hawaii. Then the sun lifted above a sea of nameless peaks, and the Himalayan day had dawned.

It was like watching sunrise on the Moon. At first, only the highest mountains caught the slanting rays, while the surrounding valleys remained flooded with inky shadows. But slowly the line of light marched down the rocky slopes, and more and more of this harsh, forbidding land climbed into the new day.

Now, if one looked hard enough, it was possible to see signs of human life. There were a few narrow roads, thin columns of smoke from lonely villages, glints of reflected sunlight from monastery roofs. The world below was waking, wholly unaware of the two spectators poised so magically fifteen thousand feet above.

During the night, the wind must have changed direction several times, and harper had no idea where they were. He could not recognize a single landmark. They could have been anywhere over a five-hundred-mile-long strip of Nepal and Tibet.

The immediate problem was to choose a landing place – and that soon, for they were drifting rapidly toward a jumble of peaks and glaciers where they could hardly expect to find help. The wind was carrying them in a northeasterly direction, toward China. If they floated over the mountains and landed there, it might be weeks before they could get in contact with one of the U.N. Famine Relief Centers and find their way home. They might even be in some personal danger, if they descended out of the sky in an area where there was only an illiterate and superstitious peasant population.

“We’d better get down quickly,” said Harper.” I don`t like the look of those mountains.”

His words seemed utterly lost in the void around them. Although Dr. Elwin was only ten feet away, it was easy to imagine that his companion could not hear anything he said. But at last the Doctor nodded his head, in almost reluctant agreement.

“I’m afraid you’re right – but I’m not sure we can make it, with this wind. Remember – we can’t go down as quickly as we can rise.”

That was true enough; the power-packs could be charged at only a tenth of their discharge rate. If they lost altitude and pumped gravitational energy back into them too fast, the cells would overheat and probably explode. The startled Tibetans (or Nepalese?) would thing that a large meteorite had detonated in their sky. And no one would ever know exactly what had happened to Dr. Jules Elwin and his promising young assistant.

To make matters worse, they had completely miscalculated the air speed at ground level. That infernal, unpredictable wind was blowing a near-gale once more. They could see streamers of snow, torn from exposed ridges, waving like ghostly banners beneath them. (Arthur C. Clarke). Illustration: © Megan Jorgensen.

Neuroscience

Neuroscience

What is a synapse or a neuron? Neurons are cells in the brain that are responsible for pretty much anything that a person does, thinks, and experiences and even for autonomous (involuntary) responses. Neurons fire, they discharge when they are depolarized. As sodium enters the cell, potassium exits aided by membrane permeability. A neuron has an axon, a sort of tail; the neurochemical is transported along the axon from the neuron’s nucleus into the synaptic cleft (the space between neurons). Once in the cleft the neurotransmitter (neurochemical produced by the neuron and responsible for most of what takes place in a mammal’s organism) is broken down, reabsorbed or “communicates” with neighboring neurons. The human brain contains several billions of neurons, for an analogy it is like a galaxy and the neurons are like stars. There actually are neurons that look like stars too (stellate cells).

Three layers of meninges protect the human brain: the dura mater, the arachnoid and the pia mater. In addition, there is the blood brain barrier (BBB), which is a mechanism that protects the brain from transmission of toxic agents that have already entered the body. The BBB is responsible for certain drugs being ineffective due to their inability to cross it. The brain contains two hemispheres, left and right, and four lobes: frontal, temporal, parietal and occipital.

Any introductory neuroscience or cognitive science course will cover the fact that despite some specialization, most of the brain is active at any one time, even during REM (rapid eye movement, the deepest kind) sleep. However, one can also say that there exists a large compilation of scientific literature that demonstrates that certain areas are associated with certain events. Thus, if one had to simplify, the parietal lobe is responsible for thinking.

Rumor has it that Albert Einstein had 15% more gray matter in his parietal lobe than the average person. Gray matter is composed of neurons, and white matter of the myelinated nerve endings (myelin - fatty substance, enrobes axons, speeds transmission). Glial cells act as “support staff” to neurons. Further (simplifying) the occipital lobe is for eyesight; the temporal for memory and the frontal lobe is the seat of executive function.

Having a positive mental attitude is asking how something can be done rather than saying it can't be done. (Bo Bennett). Image : Megan Jorgensen.

Virtual Love

Virtual Love

Nothing says "I love you" like multiple murder attempts… and "Give me some time" after a decade of chances…

Are you stuck in a virtual, fantasy relationship? Are you dating an unavailable, emotionally distant person? Are you frustrated because the lover of your dreams largely exists in your own imagination? If you answered 'yes' to any of these questions, the post below may be for you…

In this day and age of social media, social interaction has become, paradoxically, increasingly difficult. As ironic as it may seem, many people with social or intimacy phobias rely on Websites such as Facebook, Twitter or Instagram to gain a sense of social self and an illusion of social life. Don't get me wrong, social networking platforms can be great to add to an already rich and fulfilling social life, but they hardly completely eliminate the need most human beings feel for face-to-face interaction and deep, meaningful relationships.

Naturally, psychology, the social science studying behavior and the mind, has many subdivisions. The disciplines branch out into such concentrations as social psychology, interpersonal psychology, personality psychology and child development psychology, among others (as of interest to this particular post, there are many more branches, obviously). Cognitive psychology or the study of cognition, outlines several types of intelligence. Interpersonal and intrapersonal intelligences will be discussed here, since the other subtypes are beyond the scope of the present short entry. Intrapersonal intelligence relates to people understanding what is going on within them, while interpersonal intelligence has to do with interacting with others. Interestingly, social psychologists define social competence as getting what one wants from others, while still successfully maintaining positive relationships with them. However, as with most processes involving the human psyche, all is not as simple as it seems…

For example, take Theory of Mind (ToM). Most people have malleable mental schemas guiding them through the social world; these mental representations of others' emotions, intentions and mental states are called ToM. Notwithstanding, some conditions are characterized by a pronounced lack of ToM, for instance Autism Spectrum Disorders, as defined by the American Psychiatric Association (APA). Autism in itself is a mental health diagnosis, largely characterized by a deficiency in communication skills, social interaction, repetitive or odd behaviors and, an almost complete, lack of Theory of Mind. In fact, the disorder, usually detected in infancy or childhood, may be diagnosed using the Sally's Hidden Marble paradigm. People with autism may be completely unable to understand what another person is feeling or thinking, which sometimes results in extremely unpleasant consequences.

Flowers sent through a coworker do not equal quality time spent together.Illustration : Megan Jorgensen.

Another social interaction disorder is Asperger's disorder. Some believe Asperger's can be loosely defined as "autism light", others claim that Albert Einstein had Asperger's, but both conditions translate into difficulties with human interaction, albeit to different degrees. Nonetheless, social and personality differences in sociability need not always signify a mental health diagnosis, obviously. Still, social withdrawal is a symptom of many illnesses outlined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) published by the APA. Regardless, most disorders in the DSM specify that the symptom must cause distress to the person in order to be considered dysfunctional, in most cases. Yes, the mental health industry is indeed a very complex and sophisticated one.

Humans relay on social cues (tone of voice, facial expressions, body language) to understand each other, communicate effectively and coexist. Numerous psychological studies have confirmed that cultures across the world appear universal in their understanding of facial expressions, an exception being persons suffering from ASDs. As is usual in psychology and psychiatry, other factors remain at play. So, alternatively, abused children are better at reading facial expressions. Numerous studies have confirmed that emotions are expressed and understood universally across cultures, unlike customs which are often quite diverse in collectivistic and individualistic societies, among others.

At the other side of the spectrum are people high in Emotional Intelligence or EI for short. Unlike IQ (Intelligence Quotient), EQ (Emotional Quotient) refers to people's ability to manage their own and others' emotions, motivation and so on. Successful managers are usually said to score high on EQ tests. Although these two intelligence scoring methods need not necessarily correlate, intelligence helps in that it makes one a lot more resourceful in regards to coping with shortcomings in, or difficulties with, social skills.

On a slightly different note, to go back to the questions at the beginning of the article, some people get stuck in impossible relationships with unattainable or unavailable individuals. As unbelievable as it may sound, some dreamers may remain in love with the same person, fantasizing about the life they could have with the object of their affection for years, despite hardly ever seeing this person. Sometimes, the situation involves a celebrity and a fan who never actually got to meet the star. Other times, it may involve an amorous, hopelessly in love person who, despite all odds, believes that their beloved will someday change and be with them. Sadly, most of the time this never happens. To make a long story short, if your partner is not giving you what you want or need - let them know. If they continue ignoring you, avoiding you or plainly refusing to see you, not acting like the adult they are or treating you badly - you are faced with two choices: keeping your self-respect, leaving and finding the happiness you deserve with someone else who is willing to have a real, mature, meaningful relationship with you; OR staying with the dreamed up lover, losing all your self-worth and self-love for putting up with their antics (hey, after all, if you put up with so much, you'll never leave them, and they know!) and remaining miserable. Your choice, just don't write to us complaining about it if you choose the latter…

Some people may malevolently use, manipulate or lie to others to gain advantage. In contrast, other people may wish you well but simply be unwilling to take the next step, or to have the kind of relationship you want. To illustrate, let's take my sister's example, let's call her Emma for anonymity purposes. She has been involved with a wonderful man for many years. But, the man she is dating (yes, hardly even dating after years together!) is a bit of a commitment-phobe. He refuses to move in with her, hardly ever sees her at all (yes, we suggested she got self-esteem counselling for thinking someone who never sees her could actually have feelings for her, but bear with me), communicates with her sporadically and, absolutely, under no circumstances, wants to have a real-life, adult relationship with her. He even stubbornly declines any invitation to couple counselling! calling her dramatic, conflict seeking and selfish, when she so much as brings up her dissatisfaction with the (largely non-existent) relationship.

Why is she still with the guy? Is she the ugliest girl in town? may you ask, and you would be right to do so. No. She's quite pretty, and even self-confident, at times, but… Well, for one, she tends to put his needs above her own, exacerbated by the fact that the gentleman has ginger hair and is somehow horribly ashamed and insecure about it. What's more, every time she tries to leave said gentleman to have her natural and normal needs fulfilled elsewhere, he hounds her down, harasses her and just plainly refuses to let her go. Convinced that someone who fights so hard to keep her against her wishes must love her, or at least have a genuine interest in her, she goes back to him. And what happens? Back to square one. He ignores her, refuses to commit, to meet or even to talk, gaslights her, destroys and endangers her life and so on…

Tragic cycle of no-life! We all tell her, he does this because you accept it. He knows you love him and he can treat you like garbage, throw you under the bus, literally, because he has good excuses. But no matter how hard it is, he must make a choice. He must either take the difficult step to face his fears and make the next step (i.e. have an actual, real-life relationship with her), or they both must realize that their love is hopeless and has no future. Likewise, she must be strong in making him understand that he has to respect her needs and wants, or she will leave, for good. And he must understand that "I love you" and flowers sent through a coworker do not equal quality time spent together.

No one is perfect, and no relationship is all happiness and no struggles, but unconditional acceptance brings its own pitfalls. Thus, at the end of the day if he truly cannot be with her, then he should stop trying. Because if he is unwilling or unable to give her the relationship she deserves, then why waste her time and stop her from finding someone who will and forget about him altogether? Sometimes, in our affections for others, we forget that even someone closing in on their 50s can be quite selfish and childish, but we forgive them since they're suffering. Hey! What about us? Aren't we suffering too? Popular English saying, a bit too vulgar to write here, ……… or get off the pot!

A wolf howling to a full moon.  Illustration by Megan Jorgensen.