Lindsay - Chapter XII

Lindsay – Chapter XII

Lindsay’s efforts were rewarded as she found a job. The job was far from what she hoped for since she wanted to be an executive assistant and instead found a job as a waitress. However, at least she found a job and could now begin to pay her bills on her own. The job was part-time, she only worked four days a week, from 11:30 in the morning to 7:30 at night. Somewhat odd hours, somewhat odd days, not the job she was hoping for given her psychology degree, but still a job – something to rely on.

 One less thing to worry about. Now, she had another preoccupation – finding a different, less expensive apartment and organizing her move. As mentioned before she didn’t have a lot of things, but the furniture she needed disassembling and assembling and she also lacked boxes to pack her things. She knew that there were full service movers, but she still had not found them and that was making her nervous. She was mad at herself for throwing all her assembly instructions, why would she do that? Didn’t she know that she would only stay in that apartment temporarily? She should have known.

Lindsay's pine. Photo by Elena

She sat looking at the window and thought about worldly matters. How everything seemed so complicated to some people, yet so easy for others. She thought about her volunteering experience which gave her little more than some… well, experience. What’s more, she couldn’t even use that work as a reference since the place she volunteered at, given the conditions under which she worked did not allow for a professional evaluation. When she found that out she felt that she had wasted her time.

When she started volunteering at this place, she thought that it would help her CV and even get her a placement job, but neither happened. The problem with these organizations that advertise as helping people is that they rarely really live up to expectations, at least most of them since there are exceptions.

See also:

• Lindsay - Chapter XIV
• Lindsay - Table of contents

The real beauty. Photo by Elena

Lindsay's Light.

Elena's Art Work

Elena's (Megan Jorgensen) and Her Artwork

A few samples of Megan's artwork:

An Imaginary World. Image : © Megan Jorgensen.

Interstellar DJ. Ima.ge : © Megan Jorgensen.

Princess and Butterfly Wings on Mythical Horse. Image : © Megan Jorgensen.

Squares. Image : © Megan Jorgensen.

Flowers. Image : © Megan Jorgensen.

Unthinkable. Image : © Megan Jorgensen.

Red and Yellow Flowers Close Up. Image : © Megan Jorgensen.

Gorgeous Pattern Texture. Image : © Megan Jorgensen.

Civilisation. Image : © Megan Jorgensen.

Dark Sphere. Image : © Megan Jorgensen.

Our Universe Personification. Image : © Megan Jorgensen.

Sepia Mountain Top at Sun Down. Image : © Megan Jorgensen.

Romantic Art Landscape. Fantasy Art Elves Romance. Image : © Megan Jorgensen.

Sunrise. Image : © Megan Jorgensen.

Light. Image : © Megan Jorgensen.

Black Statue Wolf. Image : © Megan Jorgensen.

Large Square Decorations. Image : © Megan Jorgensen.

History vs. Legend. Image : © Megan Jorgensen.

Supermodel Anime Beauty. Image : © Megan Jorgensen.

Another Imaginary World. Image : © Megan Jorgensen.

In the Jungle at Sunset. Fantasy Art. Image : © Megan Jorgensen.

Alien Elf. Image : © Megan Jorgensen.

Red Diffraction. Image : © Megan Jorgensen.

Cute Green Pixie with Bright Green Eyes. Fantasy Art. Image : © Megan Jorgensen.

Flower Field. Image : © Megan Jorgensen.

Another World. Image : © Megan Jorgensen.

Red Planet and a Strange Starship. Image : © Megan Jorgensen.

Fairy in a Magic Jungle. Image : © Megan Jorgensen.

Witch Magic. SciFi Fantasy Art. Image : © Megan Jorgensen.

Dark Redhead. Romantic Art. Image : © Megan Jorgensen.

Calm Darkness. Image : © Megan Jorgensen.

Princess on Purple Magic Horse. Fantasy Art. Image : © Megan Jorgensen.

Fairy and Elf Princess. Image : © Megan Jorgensen.

Lindsay - Chapter XIV

Lindsay – Chapter 14

Lindsay liked her first job in many years. She had finally found employment after a very long search. She sent out so many resumes and had passed so many interviews that she had almost given up. She even tried to be a grocery clerk despite having a bachelor degree. But they didn’t hire her. Now she was a waitress. The atmosphere at the place she worked at was tense, with a low salary and some harassment, but the tips were fine. She gained hope that she would eventually get a better job after gaining some experience. Of course, she wanted an office job in a corporate environment, but that seemed almost impossible and unavailable.

Most civilized countries today have laws against harassment at work. Anyone who has ever been sexually or otherwise harassed at work or elsewhere knows how unpleasant and even threatening that could be. But the line between harassment and expressing an attraction or even feelings remains in some cases thin. Thus, interestingly, Lindsay felt harassed at first when a coworker started hitting on her. However, as time went buy she took a liking to the guy and agreed to go on a date. To Lindsay’s great surprise, the date was an incredible success.

Lindsay's Petunia flowers. Photo by Elena

The guy was a real gentleman and brought a beautiful flower bouquet comprised of roses, lilies and daisies. Then, they went to a fancy restaurant and had a succulent meal. He then drove her home and tried to kiss her although she was not ready to even kiss on a first date, so she turned away. He respected her decision.

The next day he texted and called her in the morning, but not too early. Incidentally, they both worked evening shifts and slept in in the morning. She considered that a perk of her job. Indeed, every job has its ups and downs. Working as a waitress may not sound too glamorous (although it certainly depends on the restaurant or bar one works at!) but there were many good sides, like generous tippers and not having to wake up at six in the morning. The commute to work took more or less forty minutes, so she had to take the subway and then a bus, but it was a nice, respectable establishment and now she also made a new very special friend.

See also:

• Lindsay - Chapter XV
• Lindsay - Table of contents

Wedding in green... Photo by Elena

Lindsay's Losses. Photo by Elena

Lindsay - Chapter XV

Lindsay – Chapter XV

Today was a holiday, Lindsay did not have to work. Lindsay woke up at six in the morning and could not go back to sleep. She stayed in bed until ten. When she finally got up, she wondered why she just laid there thinking negative thoughts. Her problems kept weighting her down, as well she felt extremely guilty about her house burning. She knew it was not her fault, but could not shake the feeling off.

On the work side of her life Lindsay was preoccupied by another matter. Shortly after starting, her boss started to hit on her. At first, she felt harassed, but after a while and getting to know her supervisor she took a liking to him. Lindsay had been single for a while, and she thought that having a relationship would be a good idea at the moment. Her boss treated her with love and respect, so she was happy.

However, it played on her job security. She was wondering whether she could still work there if it failed to work between them, or if he stopped liking her.

Lindsay's Rose and White flower. Photo by Elena

Today was a special day for Lindsay. She finally decided to go see a doctor. She only worked from Wednesday through Saturday, so she didn’t have to ask for time off.

She arrived at the clinic early, much earlier than scheduled. She had to wait, so she waited for a long time. She read magazines, paying more attention to colourful images than actual articles.

Finally, her turn arrived and she saw the doctor. She told the doctor about her preoccupations, her anxiety and even some panic attacks. The doctor, a beautiful leggy blonde, responded that Lindsay needs to pass some tests, such as to check her thyroid gland, to rule out any possibilities that the problems had a physical cause. Lindsay passed all the tests the same day at the clinic’s laboratory. Now she had to wait some more.

Her tests arrived in a couple of weeks, they were very good. So the doctor advised that Lindsay see a psychiatrist, so she referred her patient to a mental health professional. Seeing a psychiatrist was completely new for Lindsay, so she felt uneasy. Mostly, she was afraid of labels, like being judged and labelled as crazy.

See also:

• Lindsay - Chapter XVI
• Lindsay - Table of contents

Radiant girls. Photo by Elena

Lindsay's Wolf looking at the Moon. Photo by Elena

Lindsay - Chapter XVI

Lindsay - Chapter XVI

A month went by since Lindsay found her job as a waitress. By now she knew everybody and, as always, some people liked while others did not. For example, one waiter completely ignored her. He never said hi or talked to her whatsoever. Lindsay was the kind of person for whom it was very important to get along with everybody, so she paid close attention to this seemingly unimportant detail and felt rejected. Her newly found psychiatrist told her that it was part of her depression, otherwise she would focus on the positive sides of her work and on the people who liked her (and that was almost everybody).

In regards to focusing on the positive instead of the negative, psychologists have found an explanation by conducting studies. For example, abnormal psychology, the branch of the social science that deals with dysfunction and mental health, dictates that in depression there appears to be selective attention. People with the condition tend to concentrate on the negative and forego the positive. A characteristic of depression, or Major Depressive Disorder (MDD), seems to be loss of self-esteem. Again, psychologists have found that people with low self-esteem tend to notice more frowning faces in an array of smiling faces to a greater degree than people with high self-esteem. According to the researchers, the finding meant that people with a negative self-image tend to expect more judgement and rejection from others than people with a positive self-image.

Lindsay's dundelion flowers.

Today Lindsay woke up very tired. She did not feel like going to work, but she knew she had to. She even thought about calling in sick, but she changed her mind quickly. First of all, today was payday. Second, she had only worked three days this week, while she usually worked four shifts per week. So she got ready and left. But she was in for a surprise…

She was serving patrons when the most handsome gentleman walked in. She had to stop herself from staring. What’s more, he was sitting in her section, so naturally she went over to take his order. She was amazed by his polite, but flirtatious demeanor. He tipped her really well and in a very shy way asked her if he could have her number. Of course, she was delighted that he did. She gave him her number and he left, while she continued to work. His name was Brandon and he was as charming as he was handsome. He called her in the evening and asked her out. Even though she was really interested, she declined. She believed in playing hard to get. She was old enough to know that being too easy would quickly bore the other person.

She saw romance and dating as a game and she wanted to be and remain a challenge. Ideally, she would propose an alternative such as joining her with her girlfriends, or group of friends, but since she was a loner she had none. She started to think whether a relationship was even possible due to her lack of friends. She knew some people would be quite turned off by such a state of affairs.

See also:

• Lindsay - Chapter XVII
• Lindsay - Table of contents

Meditation. Illustration by Elena

Lindsay's own things.