Lindsay - Chapter VII

Lindsay – Chapter VII

Depression is difficult for everyone who suffers from it. Called MDD or Major Depressive Disorder in the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual) published by the APA (American Psychiatric Association), it is a debilitating mental illness. People often think that depression is simply feeling blue, but it’s so much more than that. First, the symptoms have to persist for more than 2 weeks for MDD to be diagnosed. Symptoms include but are not limited to: feeling useless, sad, unmotivated and uninterested in activities one used to enjoy. Lindsay felt like that for years, years since her apartment burned down with all that was inside.

She was also very unlucky in love. She has had very few boyfriends, and most of them treated her badly. Then, when she met Patrick she got played. They say that every woman who has twenty suitors, always chooses someone who could not care less about her. And that’s where playing hard-to-get comes in, although that was not Lindsay’s forte.

Lindsay's Orange flower. Photo by Elena

Perhaps if she had girlfriends to advise her she would have an easier time with men. But she didn’t. She knew the basics of not making herself too available, but she never used that knowledge. She believed in sincere, honest and open relationships. Trust was what mattered most to her, and she couldn’t reconcile in her mind building trust and pretending being busy, aloof or unavailable.

Thus, her romantic failures only aggravated her depression, as did her lack of true friends. She felt bored most of the time, which is understandable given that no one (or almost no one) was there to cheer her up. In her despair, she contacted Patrick again, a serious mistake by all means, since the more she pursued him, the more he despised her. 

Martin did not text or call on the next day, she didn’t like him enough to miss him, but she was somewhat distressed that he was just interested in her as a romantic partner and nothing else. But perhaps she was catastrophizing, a feature of depression.

See also:

• Lindsay - Chapter VIII
• Lindsay - Table of Contents

Cosmic Grace. Photo by Elena

Lindsay's Dark Thoughts. Illustration by Elena